THE WORST HOTEL EVER and A 2nd COUSIN

This is the hotel story that taught me my lessons, avoid this if possible!

A friend and I were getting together for a weekend in a spot with good weather, entertainment and good shopping. We had traveled together many times in fact Maggie, my friend, had been a tour guide in Hawaii while I visited. Maggie left it to me to choose a hotel as I had a recommendation. I had not yet created my top 3 list so I was going on the word of a fellow traveler. I did not consider that we had very different life styles.

I won’t be telling you where it was. It would be easy to spot if I told you the town and I might write an article about the town someday. It is not about where it was it is about what it was.

We drove the 100 miles from our town to the anytown we are going to. Arriving late we just wanted to check in to get some sleep. The amenities included a spa, of sorts, at least a sauna, whirlpool and swimming pool. That is always a nice touch. We had been told that the hotel had a vintage theme and was furnished that way. Oh, lovely. We expected nice art deco stye with period pieces. We did not check the room prior to paying our deposit and getting our key.

We noticed that there was a strong presence in the lobby of couples of the same sex. Well we were two women traveling together so what does that mean. On the way to the room we had more than one of the guests ask if we were going to the spa, in fact rather forcefully, they insisted that we should join them that night. We said thank you no not tonight we needed the rest but we looked forward to tomorrow and so did they. I should tell you that both Maggie and I were still young and a bit naive.

Even in the poorly light room we could see that the art deco furniture was period alright, it had been there since the 1930’s. They may have up graded the mattresses but barely. Too tired to even care we proceeded to get ready for bed. I was the first one in the bathroom and…I called Maggie in to look. Yes, those are pubic hairs all over the toilet. The shower had not seen a scrub brush for awhile and after checking the sheets we were not sure if they had been changed or not. That tied it! We could not stay here.

OMG we had a room with an office view. We would have to pass by that and a few people that were mingling outside. Now what. “Well” Maggie said, “We paid our deposit, we can cancel the other night”. I agreed but how do we leave. Looking at the window I thought humm…we could probably fit, “Maggie how many feet do you think this drop would be?” It turned out to be about 4 feet and we were both tall. Out went the luggage, we traveled light thank goodness. Maggie went first checked for any onlookers and it was clear. I went next and we ran for the car. I was bruised on one elbow and Maggie had scrapped her knee, we have band aids, we have band aids. We were both thankful to be out of there.

You would think we had suffered all our bad hotel karma for the night but nooooo… We drove down then main route and spotted a familiar chain with a vacancy and pulled in the driveway. We did check the room first and we got the corporate rate, we were in town so proximity did not matter.

We collapsed into our beds and just as we were dosing off to sleep a shot rang out. Both of us sat bolt upright and looked at each other. No! We can’t move again?

We quickly called the office. They had already called the police but the culprit had come to them and explained. It seems there was a gun show it town and they were checking the guns that would be displayed. One of the guns was apparently loaded, with blanks, it was an accident, but they knew better than to aim at anything. The bullet had gone into the ground and nowhere near anyone.

Is that an excuse? I think not! Well we did not do it, but we felt quilty for our escape from our last motel. There was a brief consideration that they were coming for us. I told you we were young.

Just as we settled down our patio door was rattled by someone, or something. I could not take anymore, I threw back the curtain to look. There was a man standing there stark naked and dripping wet. He had been in the whirlpool when the shot was fired. He yelled that he was a guest, a guest, and locked out. I threw him a towel. “May I at least call the office for a key?” Not at 2:00 am and not from our room. I was so tired I bought his story however enough was enough. “Out”, I shouted, pointing at the door.

While this was going on Maggie called 911. “To heck with the office”, she said, “I am going directly to someone that can do something”. The police arrived interrogated us, you would think we were standing there naked and wet. They found him quickly wandering the halls in the towel I had thrown at him. Apparently there was more to the story. He was off his medication and away from his guardian. The man apparently was nuttier than squirrel poop!

What a surprise, he seemed so normal to us. Fruitcakes, guns, dirty rooms, window escapes, gay advances by the pool, just another ordinary night.

As I lay my head on the pillow I wished for dreams and no nightmares please. Well, and if I become a writer someday this might be a good story.

How To Pick Your Best Hotel

 

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